Friday, 13 April 2012
I knew I wanted to change and started reading books like Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be and the Tao of Pooh. I wasn't ready to start putting much of it into practise yet, but I had commenced the process of understanding that I could be different. When I visualise myself doing some thing, it takes it a step closer to becoming reality. For example, when my husband first asked me to teach an aikido class, I was downright scared of the idea! But once I could see myself doing it, I then realised I actually could.
Letting go of how I'd been for so many years was hard and some times it felt like one step forward and then three back. I found my way into things that helped me become stronger, like practising martial arts, riding a motorbike and working for the Department of Social Security for 5 years (maybe a strange one to include, but it was rarely an easy job).
My Mum is a very strong and capable person, and I feel that strength has been passed onto me. I don't remember when my husband and I started using the metaphor of 'letting my tiger out', but I definitely needed to work on that in preparation for my black belt. To be honest, I've been a bit scared in the past of the growing power I have on the mat. It's a bit silly really, as I only practise like that with people of a similar or higher grade.
It can be useful to use memories to remind myself of how far I've come, but I more often feel I'm letting go of all the rubbish that gets in my way of how I want to be or where I want to go.
Love this song and the title conveniently begins with an L.